I came across a question by someone who felt stuck whenever he recalled memories from his school time when he didn't feel so good about himself. I could relate to this and I am going to share some ideas which might help to deal with such memories.
Try this technique
I'll try to share a simple technique from NLP. Try to imagine the whole situation visually. I mean to say try to picture the images of the upsetting situation of the past iin as much as detail as possible and also remember the sounds if any in that previous experience. Now naturally you will feel anxious and upset physically when you remember all this and also imagine it so vividly. Now gradually start making changes in the image that you're imagining. Tone down the Voices a bit and insert funny background music in the situation. For example the music from Tom and Jerry. Now make the colours a little dull and ultimately black and white and also try to make the pictures of the people, funnier. Try to make their voices squeaky and keep toning down the volume of the whole situation gradually. Not try to analyse how you feel now. There are pretty good chances that you will feel at least a little less anxious and upset about the situation. Now doing this repeatedly can also reduce the overall anxiety and stress levels that you experience while you remember these situations, because you are recording all this in your unconsicious memory. Now, I am not saying that it might benefit you for sure but many people have seen a significant difference within a few minutes while practicing it. There is another technique where you start with the same process of imagining the upsetting situation in every detail possible but you also imagine a more desirable situation opposite to it in a dull manner. Now as you keep toning down the quality of image of the upsetting situation you keep toning up the image quality and sounds of the more desirable situation and in the end the more desirable situation is in your mind. But this is more applicable when you are trying to leave a bad habit or you're trying to overcome any fear.
Now, we can't really change our past. But changing how we look at the past might help us.
And sometimes when we are consciously not able to do it. We can try these techniques which also work on the subconscious level! So that we have double power to change it.
Reframe your Beliefs
Also write down the limiting beliefs that you have had in the past, as a kid at that time. And give them an update.
Reframe them giving more credit and dignity to yourself. Also back the new beliefs up with good examples of the present.
For example, I used to freeze on stage when I was little and teachers mocked me. Even my peers avoided me because they thought of me as a boring nerd. But gradually I grew over my limitations And eventually I spoke confidently on stage as a school counselor and with my clients etc. I even feel comfortable with speaking on camera now. So these instances back my new beliefs up.
So old belief- I am shy, timid and afraid to speak in public.
New belief- I am comfortable in my skin and my life, have only ME to prove myself to, and I am not afraid to stand up and speak.
And use those empowering sentences as affirmations or lines in your journal if you maintain one.
Generally we run on auto-pilot mode. Our memories haunt us, our limiting beliefs still control us. But just by being aware of what happened with us and what we can do about it as an adult makes us a lot more in control. Especially if we use some simple techniques or any other form of healing that you have faith in.
However, we have to understand the fact that in case, these feelings of anxiety, sadness, helplessness are affecting us to the point where our career, family and social life, health, sleep, mental health etc are taking a toll we should always reach out for help. Never hesitate to seek therapy if you need it.
Sometimes we need a helping hand ❤️🩹 and it's okay to take that help